Alright, so I have been home for almost 2 weeks and it definitely doesn't feel like home anymore. What once was a home I looked forward to coming home too, eating dinner with my family, taking a long hot shower, choosing between hundreds of options for lunch, relaxing on my comfy bed and seeing my best friends is no longer what I want for my life. For most of you that know me or read my blog, it is probably hard for you to understand why I feel this way...I am going to try and explain something that I fully don't understand.
I have always known that I was meant to be helping people. Whether it was serving in a soup kitchen or tutoring children, I found my niche early on. In all honesty, I couldn't have been happier when I needed to look at other options than Fordham for this school year. Secretly, I knew once I purchased my plane ticket on June 21st that this year in Peru was going to be life changing. Boy, was I right.
From the day I said goodbye to my Mom and best friends, walked on that plane, cried reading the amazing letters from loved ones, put my foot down on South American concrete, took an 8 hour bus to Huancayo, experienced homesickness, taught 3 weeks of english, followed my heart and traveled back to Lima, arrived at the Hogar, met a saint, ate breakfast with 57 children, fell in love with a baby, never felt so much happiness in my entire life, became friends with incredible volunteers, took countless naps with children and became a godmother (twice)...I realized this is what I am meant to be doing. I wake up every morning knowing that my passion and love is right down the stairs.
I have experienced things in the last 4 months that most people won't be able to in a lifetime. I am incredibly grateful for everything I have seen, done and felt. Being back here in Ohio, doesn't compare to anything I have felt within the last 4 months. I guess you could say I am experiencing reverse culture shock, which I wasn't expecting to be this difficult. It is not only hard to relate to people in America but even my best friends. It's not that we aren't best friends anymore or that I don't love them...but we are now living completely different lives. I have been to the most poverty stricken areas of Peru and experienced a lifetime worth of love and passion when my friends are studying for finals and going to parties. Neither life is right or wrong...just different. After being back for less than 2 weeks, I know where my heart is...
Most people don't understand or agree with my decision to volunteer in Peru for a year...and now they're even more confused how Peru feels like home. Being a Mom for 57 children, eating the same thing everyday, sleeping in a room with 4 girls smaller than a dorm, waiting in a hospital for hours, helping with homework, learning a new language, having a baby fall asleep in my arms, running up and down the stairs at least 40 times a day, watching movies, going to the park, hand washing my laundry, going to mass with everyone and knowing that this is what God has called me to do...FEELS LIKE HOME :]
I came back to Ohio for 2 reasons. One, because I was homesick in Huancayo and bought my ticket to see my family and friends. And Two, to research, apply and visit colleges for the upcoming year. I made a commitment to return in May and go back to college in August. I can't be sure of what I will be doing next year or even tomorrow for that matter...but I know where my heart is. I know what God has called me to do and I am following his calling in Peru. Maybe in May I will feel as though my work is done, but right now my heart is on fire for these children and I want to serve God for the rest of my life. After coming back and telling former teachers, Mount Notre Dame students, friends and strangers about the last 4 months of my life...I get the same reactions. "Wow, you're amazing." "What about school? You need to get your degree." "Isn't it hard living in Peru?" "Are you making money while you're there? You can't just be volunteering?" It's hard to explain to people how I am feeling. To put it bluntly, I don't think what I am doing is amazing at all. I am simply doing what God has called me to do and living out my dreams of committing my life to service. I know that I need my college degree, but I can get my degree at any point in my life. Hundreds of thousands of people are attending college to receive their degrees and get a job. How many people feel called to leave the first world behind and commit their life to poverty stricken children in Peru? Whether I stay in Peru until May, two years from now or forever...this is my calling and I am stickin' to it.
So forever or just for now...my heart is in Peru.
And Home, well that's where my heart is ♥
Ps. Someone asked me what my favorite memory has been so far in Peru. I remember the day vividly. I was holding John Pierre as he was falling asleep in my arms and a boy named Ronald asked me for help with his homework. I sat and helped Ronald and then helped Maritza and Lourdes with their homework. An older boy, John, passed me and said, "Mami Cristina" (Mommy Christine). My heart melted. I knew on that day that these kids have changed me forever. Love :]
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