For me, true love is indescribable. It's this incredible feeling that changes you. It's as if life without this love would be insignificant. But the process of falling in love...that's the most poignant part of the indescribable feelings. The way love can change you as a person and the way it can form your life path is baffling. I have yet to experience the 'falling in love' for that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And to be quite honest, I don't think I want that for myself anymore. But the 'falling in love' I am experiencing is unreal. I thought I had head over heals fallen in love one year ago, but I take it back. Infatuation is a better word I felt last year for the country of Peru, the children, the Home, the language and everything in between. Over the past year I have finally fallen in love with myself. I love who I have become and the recent life choices I have made. I have committed my life to service and adventure and couldn't be happier. Finding and creating happiness, loving myself and dedicating my life to others has only aided falling in love.
No longer infatuation, I have fallen in love with countless things. A country, which an incredible woman describes, "There was a rawness and beauty in Peru that brought every emotion right to the surface, and I loved the feeling, loved being in this place where the best and worst of everything seemed to coexist." Couldn't have said it better myself. Peru is a country beaming with culture and flooded with poverty. The people don't have much in terms of material objects or monetary wealth, but what they do have in abundance is compassion, care and love for the human race. It has been said that when one Peruvian cries, the nation cries with them and when one celebrates, the whole country dances. It's a wonderful country and I have finally been able to pinpoint why. It really isn't about the money unlike the United States or many other countries...it's about kindness.
As I spooned a 2 year old boy, Jose Luis, his ice cream the night before I left, my eyes welled with tears. The nurses, who are not only my second Moms but my best friends, calmed my tears and reassured me that I would be back soon. But that wasn't it. I know I will be back soon and that I need to be home for my Mom during surgery. My tears, were tears of happiness. I explained to them, that I was sad to leave but I had finally found something I love so much and want to do for the rest of my life. I love where I am and what I am doing. I love those children more than anything in the world. I don't just feel like it's my home, but it is my family. I have discovered my passion, discovered my reason for living and most importantly...I discovered myself.
The children :]
The home is a funny place. When I walked through the door at 5:30 Thursday morning, it was the exact same house I left 2 months ago. The children came running and screaming to greet me and I immediately fell in to the same routines I had been doing for the last year. I was home. In those 3 weeks, I did some things I have never done before in Peru. One unforgettable memory was a 5 day trip to a nearby city, Chancay, where I was able to accompany 2 of my girls for surgery. I went with children to Lima for their medical appointments for the first time, ALONE. I made a home visit with one of the social workers from the burn hospital. I ventured up the mountains and saw the most amazing sunset I have ever seen in my life. I took the children to the movie theater (not once, but twice) without any scrapes or bruises...and we were home in time for dinner. I reconnected with Leah, a volunteer who I came to know last year, and remembered why we became friends in the first place. I took countless naps with Ana Lucero and Tracy and secretly slept in the girl's room for a week straight. I cried at Mass when I hugged and kissed my children for the sign of peace because it was one of the most beautiful, powerful moments of faith I have witnessed. I helped the Doctor prepare medicine for his trip back to the States and there was an understood silence that filled the room that brought a smile to my face. I stayed up all night with the nurses talking about life, the future and what will happen next.
It's like I just belong there. Even with all the chaos of 50 something children...I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have fallen in love with so many things within the past year and my love only deepens day after day. My Mom has a collage that says, "Only absence makes the heart grow fonder", and the 2 months I spent away from home only deepened my relationships with the children, the Home and Peru.
I hear the wind across the plain
A sound so strong - that calls my name
It's wild like the river - it's warm like the sun
Ya it's here - this is where I belong
Under the starry skies - where eagles have flown
This place is paradise - it's the place I call home
The moon on the mountains
The whisper through the trees
The waves on the water
Let nothing come between this and me
Cuz everything I want - is everything that's here
And when when we're all together - there's nothing to fear
And wherever I wander - the one thing I've learned
It's to here - I will always....always return
A sound so strong - that calls my name
It's wild like the river - it's warm like the sun
Ya it's here - this is where I belong
Under the starry skies - where eagles have flown
This place is paradise - it's the place I call home
The moon on the mountains
The whisper through the trees
The waves on the water
Let nothing come between this and me
Cuz everything I want - is everything that's here
And when when we're all together - there's nothing to fear
And wherever I wander - the one thing I've learned
It's to here - I will always....always return
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