This girl I know from Fordham just went on a mission trip to Calcutta. She blogged about her trip the entire time she was there and when she got back, I skyped with her to hear more about the trip. She told me so many interesting things that are helpful to my upcoming trip, but those things weren't described in her blog. After speaking to her and then reading her blog, she left out so much. What she blogged about was only the "happy" "good" stuff. She failed to mention how the airline lost her luggage, when she got incredibly sick, when she fell in love and the time when she went skinny dipping. I can't believe she left out the struggles, real feelings and experiences she had other than just volunteering.
From this moment on, I have decided I am going to be as real as possible. If I don't like something, you will hear about it. If I fall in love, experience hatred, have the best time of my life, eat new foods, get sick or am having a hard time...I will blog about it. I can't imagine not sharing personal details know matter how personal, because I want others to benefit from my adventure. I want others who read my blog, stalk my pictures or see my facebook to get a real account of what is going on with me in Huancayo.
In keeping with my promise this blog post will be real. Real emotions, real feelings and real thoughts :] I leave for Peru in less than a month, and I think it is finally starting to hit me. I will be volunteering in Peru for 9 months without any friends, family and minimal communication. It's going to be weird being without those essential people and things for such a long period of time. I have so many petty questions and important questions that I won't know the answers to until I arrive in Peru. Will I have enough money for my 9 month stay? Will I like the food? Will I be homesick? Will I even be a good teacher? Do I know enough Spanish to teach? Should I bring more clothes? What happens if I get seriously ill? My mind is racing with uncertainty. But with every uncertainty, I can envision myself receiving great rewards. I don't regret my decision at all and I honestly can't imagine myself doing anything different. This is my time to make a difference. This is my time to make footprints and impact the lives of Peruvian people. This is my time to change the world. This, is my time.
One of my retreat leaders from a faith and justice retreat at Fordham, was killed by a drunk driver one week ago. She was one of the nicest, faith-filled leaders I have ever met and she dreamed of being in Peace Corps just like me. To think that she was one year away from graduating, one year away from the Peace Corps and only a few weeks away to seeing her mentally challenged sister get married, kills me. To know that my life could end at any moment without changing the world, completing my goal of volunteering for impoverished children, winning some victory for humanity or being a daughter my mom can say she is proud of...makes me want to volunteer in Peru for even longer. Living a life of service is my dream, and why wait until I am forty or fifty years old to live my dreams. Why not now? I pray for Vanessa's family and friends, and I hope they know that she might not have changed the lives of others abroad, but she definitely changed mine <3
This post is dedicated to being real, living out your dreams, changing the world and to my retreat leader Vanessa. And even though my life hasn't gone as planned, I am completing my goal of changing the world and living as though today was my last day. Peace :]
"For every stoplight I didn't make,
for every chance I did or didn't take.
All the nights I went too far,
all the girls that broke my heart,
all the doors that I had to close,
all the things I knew but didn't know,
Thank God for all I missed,
Cause it lead me straight here to this."
Peru 2011-2012 <3
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I have to post this now because you are starting to think this post is about how much i hate you....LOVE YOU LIZZY :]
I am unsure of a lot of things. I honestly can't tell you what I believe in politically, what my favorite color is, where I will be in ten years, why I love the movie the sixth sense so much or why I hate my curly hair. Most think I am indecisive because I am a people pleaser, but some things I really just don't have an opinion about. There is one exception to my indecisiveness. I am 100%, whole heartedly, undoubtedly for sure that Elizabeth Anne Freeman and I were destined to be best friends.
The story of how we became inseparable, BFF's never gets old. I was seven years old and my Mom just informed me that I was going to have to wake up really early to drop my Dad off at the airport. No way was I going to wake up early, so she told me that I had to find someone's house to sleep over at. My best friend across the street was out of town so I had to call someone else. I whipped out the second grade directory and went down the list alphabetically of homeroom 2-C. Freeman, Elizabeth...I'll call her. I dialed her home phone number, which is now a number I will remember till the day I die, and she answered. She agreed to let me stay the night, even though we didn't know anything about each other. My Mom dropped me off later that day and apologized to her Mom after finding out I basically invited myself over. That night was the start of an incredible friendship that has lasted over 12 years.
Lizzy and I grew up side by side since the second grade and most people referred to us as "attached at the hip". I probably spent 90% of my childhood at her house only coming home to get new clothes. Days were spent mostly the same way, during the school year I would sleep over at her house every night, we would be driven to school in the morning, attend the same classes, go back to Lizzy's house, watch trading spaces while eating pans of rice krispie treats, play soccer with the neighbors, eat dinner, do homework and go to bed. Life was easy, simple and good. No one understood that my life was Lizzy's life and Lizzy's life was my life until about the fourth grade. Come August, new teachers were told every year that the Columbia's and Freeman's were basically one family.
After the simplicity of grade school came high school, but nothing changed. We both made new friends and had different core friend groups, but that still doesn't matter. We mastered the art of growing separately without growing apart. Even if we haven't seen each other in months (like this past school year), if Lizzy ever needed me or I ever needed her, things would fall right back into our 3rd grade, attached at the hip, inseparable bond.
As I enter this new stage of my life, I am analyzing my friendships with those closest to me. With Lizzy, no analyzing is needed. What we have, we will always have. Friendships are always changing, but with her nothing has changed and will ever change...our friendship is constant. What hurts me the most about my nearing adventure to Peru is that my best friend won't be right by my side experiencing it with me. Every big and little moment we have been there for each other. She was there the day I invited myself over, when I had my first bloody nose, when I got my braces and every time we were car riders. She was there for every volleyball game, when I got my first cell phone, when I cried during I am Sam, and the day my parents got divorced. Lizzy never missed when my family moved houses, the day I learned to rollerblade, every time I cried while doing algebra and every babysitting job we had together. And this past year, she never missed a Skype call when I was crying, a phone call when I hated the world or when I posted a childhood memory on her facebook wall. She has been there for it all, good and bad. Venturing to Peru without her by my side is terrifying, not to mention the 9 months we won't be with each other. Taking the biggest risk of my life without her next to me is scarier than being kidnapped, getting sick, not liking the food or getting lost. My best friend. Lizzy. The one who has been there for everything, won't be there. Of course we can Skype and facebook each other, but not hearing her infectious laugh, her allergy sniffles and her "American Idol" singing voice kills me.
This whole post sounds so stupid, everyone has a best friend they think they can't live without...but Lizzy is different. We just get each other. Even if we don't know every detail about one another's current lives, we still know everything about each other. I can tell you why she's mad, why she's giving you the silent treatment, the face she makes when a food has a bad texture, how she lives for tissues, why the bed shakes when she laughs and what makes her smile ear to ear. Vice Versa she can tell you why I am in a bad mood, why I hate fake air, why I laugh when old people fall, the love I have for my Mom and when spotting a deer is more important than watching the road. It just works. There's no other friendship I have ever had that just feels perfect. When we are together, everything is just right in the world. No matter if we are just sitting on her bed talking for hours or skydiving together, our friendship is filled with love. Sure we have had our fights and issues, like the time we didn't speak for 2 weeks in the 4th grade or when we kind of weren't friends sophomore year of high school. But nothing has ever changed. We are best friends, forever.
Lizzy is the most amazing person I have ever met. She holds a newborn baby like it is the most joyous thing in the world, her creativity boggles my left brain, she is kind and the word compassionate doesn't even do her justice. She's incredibly smart, can ace any multiple choice test and knows some super random facts. It's weird we became friends. Parts of us are strikingly similar, and then other characteristics couldn't be more different. A simple phone call changed us forever and this proves that everything does happen for a reason.
I pray that being away from her gets easier and we will always remain each other's "frick" and "frack". I found a quote the other day while stumbling that sums up our entire friendship perfectly. Lizzy will be happy to hear this quote is from some lame movie she always made me watch called, The Little Rascals. "You only meet your once in a lifetime friend, once in a lifetime." I can't wait to come home and tell you everything about my trip, see your second year portfolio, go on more roadtrips, see more concerts, be happy, read books, watch you do crafty things, go to dinner and laugh with you. And I can't wait to be in each other's weddings, babysit your kids, volunteer with you, write you cards for Holidays, build an orphanage in Africa with you, win the Noble Peace Prize and grow old with you :]
And to answer the question I have avoided ten thousand times...where will you be in ten years? I have no fucking clue. All I can say is that you will be happy, compassionate, loving, giving and we will be friends. Isn't that all that really matters? :] I love you more than you'll ever know and am beyond grateful for the coolest friend ever. LOVE ALWAYS.
teaner.
The story of how we became inseparable, BFF's never gets old. I was seven years old and my Mom just informed me that I was going to have to wake up really early to drop my Dad off at the airport. No way was I going to wake up early, so she told me that I had to find someone's house to sleep over at. My best friend across the street was out of town so I had to call someone else. I whipped out the second grade directory and went down the list alphabetically of homeroom 2-C. Freeman, Elizabeth...I'll call her. I dialed her home phone number, which is now a number I will remember till the day I die, and she answered. She agreed to let me stay the night, even though we didn't know anything about each other. My Mom dropped me off later that day and apologized to her Mom after finding out I basically invited myself over. That night was the start of an incredible friendship that has lasted over 12 years.
Lizzy and I grew up side by side since the second grade and most people referred to us as "attached at the hip". I probably spent 90% of my childhood at her house only coming home to get new clothes. Days were spent mostly the same way, during the school year I would sleep over at her house every night, we would be driven to school in the morning, attend the same classes, go back to Lizzy's house, watch trading spaces while eating pans of rice krispie treats, play soccer with the neighbors, eat dinner, do homework and go to bed. Life was easy, simple and good. No one understood that my life was Lizzy's life and Lizzy's life was my life until about the fourth grade. Come August, new teachers were told every year that the Columbia's and Freeman's were basically one family.
After the simplicity of grade school came high school, but nothing changed. We both made new friends and had different core friend groups, but that still doesn't matter. We mastered the art of growing separately without growing apart. Even if we haven't seen each other in months (like this past school year), if Lizzy ever needed me or I ever needed her, things would fall right back into our 3rd grade, attached at the hip, inseparable bond.
As I enter this new stage of my life, I am analyzing my friendships with those closest to me. With Lizzy, no analyzing is needed. What we have, we will always have. Friendships are always changing, but with her nothing has changed and will ever change...our friendship is constant. What hurts me the most about my nearing adventure to Peru is that my best friend won't be right by my side experiencing it with me. Every big and little moment we have been there for each other. She was there the day I invited myself over, when I had my first bloody nose, when I got my braces and every time we were car riders. She was there for every volleyball game, when I got my first cell phone, when I cried during I am Sam, and the day my parents got divorced. Lizzy never missed when my family moved houses, the day I learned to rollerblade, every time I cried while doing algebra and every babysitting job we had together. And this past year, she never missed a Skype call when I was crying, a phone call when I hated the world or when I posted a childhood memory on her facebook wall. She has been there for it all, good and bad. Venturing to Peru without her by my side is terrifying, not to mention the 9 months we won't be with each other. Taking the biggest risk of my life without her next to me is scarier than being kidnapped, getting sick, not liking the food or getting lost. My best friend. Lizzy. The one who has been there for everything, won't be there. Of course we can Skype and facebook each other, but not hearing her infectious laugh, her allergy sniffles and her "American Idol" singing voice kills me.
This whole post sounds so stupid, everyone has a best friend they think they can't live without...but Lizzy is different. We just get each other. Even if we don't know every detail about one another's current lives, we still know everything about each other. I can tell you why she's mad, why she's giving you the silent treatment, the face she makes when a food has a bad texture, how she lives for tissues, why the bed shakes when she laughs and what makes her smile ear to ear. Vice Versa she can tell you why I am in a bad mood, why I hate fake air, why I laugh when old people fall, the love I have for my Mom and when spotting a deer is more important than watching the road. It just works. There's no other friendship I have ever had that just feels perfect. When we are together, everything is just right in the world. No matter if we are just sitting on her bed talking for hours or skydiving together, our friendship is filled with love. Sure we have had our fights and issues, like the time we didn't speak for 2 weeks in the 4th grade or when we kind of weren't friends sophomore year of high school. But nothing has ever changed. We are best friends, forever.
Lizzy is the most amazing person I have ever met. She holds a newborn baby like it is the most joyous thing in the world, her creativity boggles my left brain, she is kind and the word compassionate doesn't even do her justice. She's incredibly smart, can ace any multiple choice test and knows some super random facts. It's weird we became friends. Parts of us are strikingly similar, and then other characteristics couldn't be more different. A simple phone call changed us forever and this proves that everything does happen for a reason.
I pray that being away from her gets easier and we will always remain each other's "frick" and "frack". I found a quote the other day while stumbling that sums up our entire friendship perfectly. Lizzy will be happy to hear this quote is from some lame movie she always made me watch called, The Little Rascals. "You only meet your once in a lifetime friend, once in a lifetime." I can't wait to come home and tell you everything about my trip, see your second year portfolio, go on more roadtrips, see more concerts, be happy, read books, watch you do crafty things, go to dinner and laugh with you. And I can't wait to be in each other's weddings, babysit your kids, volunteer with you, write you cards for Holidays, build an orphanage in Africa with you, win the Noble Peace Prize and grow old with you :]
And to answer the question I have avoided ten thousand times...where will you be in ten years? I have no fucking clue. All I can say is that you will be happy, compassionate, loving, giving and we will be friends. Isn't that all that really matters? :] I love you more than you'll ever know and am beyond grateful for the coolest friend ever. LOVE ALWAYS.
teaner.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Happiness Journey: From Cincinnati to Huancayo
If you know me, you probably know about my obsession with happiness. I've done school projects on it, written papers about it, captured my pursuit of it...among many others. Happiness has always fascinated me. Why are some people genuinely happier than others? Is it merely because of attitude, perspective and thought? Or does it have to do more with opportunity, circumstance and fate? I think I have come up with an idea to answer this question for my own happiness journey and the millions of others on their own journey.
My best friend and I started our own happiness project for this year in June. Our happiness project consists of commandments we are trying to live by and work on. Some people blog about their individual commandments, but I'm trying to keep my 12 personal commandments "personal", so things don't feel forced or unnatural. This blog is mostly private for now, until I embark on my journey in August, so I will have to share one personal commandment for you to understand the idea behind my happiness journey.
Number 12: Make Footprints. Deciding to volunteer in Peru for 9 months is definitely a way to give back and create footprints, but I have decided it is going to be much more than that. My 9 month journey will not only consist of volunteering but documenting the happiness of Peruvians and what makes them happy. It's a rough idea for now...but I hope it will be titled something like, "The Happiness Journey: from Cincinnati to Huancayo."
I got the idea from an amazing documentary, "The Human Experience". I first saw the documentary during orientation for Fordham and it moved all of my classmates. What we all thought would be a boring movie we could sleep through, turned out to be one of the most poignant, thought provoking films I have ever seen. Two young men from Brooklyn put this film together when they ventured the streets of New York, Peru and Africa. They volunteered all across the world and asked the same questions to people they encountered: "What does life mean to you?" "What is your human experience?" The answers they heard from African lepers, disabled Peruvian children and the New York City homeless were all the same. No matter their situation, hardship or struggle they found beauty in their life. Just living life was beautiful to each and every one of them. After viewing the film, both men were at Fordham to speak and answer any questions. I didn't have any questions to ask them...only a few to ask myself. Why am I not doing that? Why am I not volunteering around the world and getting to know each person's view on life? The answer was simple. I am in college, I can't just volunteer around the world. Well, look at where I am right now :]
"The Happiness Journey" will hopefully be sort of a documentary, asking strangers what makes them happy and what happiness means to them. I will start before my journey with strangers and close friends in Cincinnati and then ask all of the people I encounter in Huancayo, Peru. This project will definitely be an extension of my twelfth commandment, Make Footprints, and hopefully it will add to my own happiness project. Understanding what happiness means to my neighbors in Cincinnati and the impoverished people of Peru will enhance my own views of the human experience. And maybe I can provide a little evidence behind my favorite line...."oh you know, I am just livin' life :]
So for now, things are wonderful. If you happen to see a camera shoved in your face, hopefully this gives a bit of an explanation :] I will end with a quote that kind of sums up my twelfth commandment...
"The eye that doesn’t see does not do justice to the body. That’s why it’s there, that’s why you’re out there. And somehow you recognize that you’re a piece of this total life. You’re out on that forefront and you have to bring that back, somehow. And that becomes a rather special responsibility. It tells you something about your relationship with this thing we call life. It's you, it's us, it's we, it's life."
Sunday, July 10, 2011
GETTING READY FOR THE ADVENTURE :] :] :]
If I could blog about all of my emotions, this blog would go on forever. Only 6 weeks remain until I am on the journey of a lifetime to Huancayo, Peru and I couldn't be more excited, nervous, happy, sad, anxious and grateful. Things are finally falling into place and I feel great :]
With this adventure comes a lot of preparation. Doctor's appointments, buying clothes, packing, skype sessions and the craziest thing I have ever done...(finally) (illegally) drinking alcohol. YES, THIS IS CHRISTINE SAYING THIS :] hahaha. It finally happened, after 19 years of being alcohol free, I took my first sip of alcohol last night in the company of great friends. I would have waited until I was 21 like I had always planned and promised myself, but as I have learned this year...things don't always go as planned. I needed to drink for 2 reasons. One, the drinking age in Peru is 18 so I will legally be allowed to drink once I leave in August. But most importantly, in Peru to be offered an alcoholic beverage and decline is extremely rude. I needed to know how my body reacts to alcohol and to know my limits.
The night was fun! I was in the company of 4 amazing friends that have been waiting for this day to come for years :] A toast was made to good friends and my upcoming adventure to Peru to "save the world." Even though I was reluctant about drinking because I hoped to make it until I was 21, I couldn't have had a better night. Megan and Chelsea were late, Lizzy was tired, Ellen was awkward...typical. Even though I was doing something I didn't want to, I realized for the 100th time this summer, I have the greatest friends in the world! After wine, catchphrase, grade school reminiscing, itchy ears, charades, fruit fights and counting my sips of nasty wine...my friends truly made the night! Love you girls :]
Although I am beyond excited, as the day nears I start to get more and more nervous. I've probably thought about every situation that can go wrong and why this is a bad decision. It's incredibly hard to hear all of my friends talking about how excited they are to go back to school when I am not. It's hard to see college friendships being formed that I am not included in. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how I am hurting my roommate by not rooming with her, not following my Dad's plan, or sticking to the societal norm. I have to keep reminding myself, as cheesy as it sounds, that this is God's plan. All of the adversity I have faced has made me stronger and being able to volunteer in Peru for 9 months is a dream I have had for the last ten years. Most people wish they accomplished their life long goals and I am getting the opportunity to do just that. Maybe this wasn't my original plan, but this new plan is a pretty damn good one! Thanks God! Hahaha :] Also, volunteering for 9 months in Peru will give me such wonderful perspective on life and the meaning behind the human experience. Even though I will be missing out on the typical college life, I have never been "typical, ordinary or normal". How could I even have a typical college experience when I am so outside the norm? This experience is exactly what I am meant to be doing and can't wait to be learning out of a college classroom for 9 months!
CAN'T WAIT :]
Life is good, wine sucks, I am not normal, I love volunteering, packing is hard and I love my friendsss!
That pretty much sums up everything :]
With this adventure comes a lot of preparation. Doctor's appointments, buying clothes, packing, skype sessions and the craziest thing I have ever done...(finally) (illegally) drinking alcohol. YES, THIS IS CHRISTINE SAYING THIS :] hahaha. It finally happened, after 19 years of being alcohol free, I took my first sip of alcohol last night in the company of great friends. I would have waited until I was 21 like I had always planned and promised myself, but as I have learned this year...things don't always go as planned. I needed to drink for 2 reasons. One, the drinking age in Peru is 18 so I will legally be allowed to drink once I leave in August. But most importantly, in Peru to be offered an alcoholic beverage and decline is extremely rude. I needed to know how my body reacts to alcohol and to know my limits.
The night was fun! I was in the company of 4 amazing friends that have been waiting for this day to come for years :] A toast was made to good friends and my upcoming adventure to Peru to "save the world." Even though I was reluctant about drinking because I hoped to make it until I was 21, I couldn't have had a better night. Megan and Chelsea were late, Lizzy was tired, Ellen was awkward...typical. Even though I was doing something I didn't want to, I realized for the 100th time this summer, I have the greatest friends in the world! After wine, catchphrase, grade school reminiscing, itchy ears, charades, fruit fights and counting my sips of nasty wine...my friends truly made the night! Love you girls :]
Although I am beyond excited, as the day nears I start to get more and more nervous. I've probably thought about every situation that can go wrong and why this is a bad decision. It's incredibly hard to hear all of my friends talking about how excited they are to go back to school when I am not. It's hard to see college friendships being formed that I am not included in. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how I am hurting my roommate by not rooming with her, not following my Dad's plan, or sticking to the societal norm. I have to keep reminding myself, as cheesy as it sounds, that this is God's plan. All of the adversity I have faced has made me stronger and being able to volunteer in Peru for 9 months is a dream I have had for the last ten years. Most people wish they accomplished their life long goals and I am getting the opportunity to do just that. Maybe this wasn't my original plan, but this new plan is a pretty damn good one! Thanks God! Hahaha :] Also, volunteering for 9 months in Peru will give me such wonderful perspective on life and the meaning behind the human experience. Even though I will be missing out on the typical college life, I have never been "typical, ordinary or normal". How could I even have a typical college experience when I am so outside the norm? This experience is exactly what I am meant to be doing and can't wait to be learning out of a college classroom for 9 months!
CAN'T WAIT :]
Life is good, wine sucks, I am not normal, I love volunteering, packing is hard and I love my friendsss!
That pretty much sums up everything :]
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Now comes the hard part...trust, honesty and a lot of faith
These last few days have been wonderful! I have hung out with some really great friends, been working at a place I love and just "livin' life".
Not only do I have an amazing friend group, but I have so many friends outside of my usual group that are simply wonderful. Elizabeth and Ellen, the LMF (low maintenance friends) as we like to call ourselves, are amazing friends! We don't hang out all the time or know everything about each other's current lives, but none of that matters. When we are together, everything just feels right. The three of us have been friends since the second grade and I couldn't imagine having friends better than them. The LMF part is probably the coolest part hahaha :] because we don't need to talk all the time, hang out or tell one another every single detail. Plus, we all have separate core friend groups, so there is no drama...ever!
The Fab 5 finally reunited the other night and things are back to where we left off last summer. Yes, things have changed, people have changed and life is always changing...but the reason I am friends with these amazing girls remains constant. Carolyn's stories are still laughably long, Sarah falls asleep because she works 100 hours, Ash is still sweet and upbeat and Gabrielle laughs at everything....things are pretty much the same as we left them last August :) It's cool to have friends like the Fab 5 that are so accepting, kind, compassionate and fun. I can't wait for a summer filled with pictures, ice blocking, laser tag, dinners and fun! LOVE YOU GIRLS :]
After a wonderful time hanging out with great friends, reality sets back in. I still have a lot to do. The biggest thing I am putting off right now, is telling my roommate from last year and this coming year that I am no longer returning to Fordham. Seems easy and like I have waited so long to tell her, but I cannot explain how much I respect her. My roommate and I experienced so much with each other this past year that she feels like a life long friend. We overcame death, hatred, family issues, moving, academic issues and so much more that telling her I won't be right beside her next year...kills me. She was a wonderful roommate and if I have any regrets about my decision to move on to a new plan, it's her. I have to tell her and my two other amazing suitemates I will not be returning within the next week, and I don't know how it is going to go :/ I know she will be upset, but I have to keep telling myself that it is not my fault. I had no control over the situation and this is just how it is. I am so deeply sorry that I have to hurt her but I have already waited to long and need to fill her in. Trust, honesty and a lot of faith will be need over the next week and I hope things work out okay. Breezie, Carly and especially Amanda...I love you girls so much and I am sorry this is the way it had to happen. I wish you only the best the next 3 years at Fordham and I know you will do amazing things!! Winner Chicken Dinner 4 Lyfeeeee.
7 Weeks and 6 days until I make my journey to Peru to volunteer for 9 months....and I couldn't be more excited! It feels really good to be living out my dream and living a life of service to others! CAN'T WAIT :]
Not only do I have an amazing friend group, but I have so many friends outside of my usual group that are simply wonderful. Elizabeth and Ellen, the LMF (low maintenance friends) as we like to call ourselves, are amazing friends! We don't hang out all the time or know everything about each other's current lives, but none of that matters. When we are together, everything just feels right. The three of us have been friends since the second grade and I couldn't imagine having friends better than them. The LMF part is probably the coolest part hahaha :] because we don't need to talk all the time, hang out or tell one another every single detail. Plus, we all have separate core friend groups, so there is no drama...ever!
The Fab 5 finally reunited the other night and things are back to where we left off last summer. Yes, things have changed, people have changed and life is always changing...but the reason I am friends with these amazing girls remains constant. Carolyn's stories are still laughably long, Sarah falls asleep because she works 100 hours, Ash is still sweet and upbeat and Gabrielle laughs at everything....things are pretty much the same as we left them last August :) It's cool to have friends like the Fab 5 that are so accepting, kind, compassionate and fun. I can't wait for a summer filled with pictures, ice blocking, laser tag, dinners and fun! LOVE YOU GIRLS :]
After a wonderful time hanging out with great friends, reality sets back in. I still have a lot to do. The biggest thing I am putting off right now, is telling my roommate from last year and this coming year that I am no longer returning to Fordham. Seems easy and like I have waited so long to tell her, but I cannot explain how much I respect her. My roommate and I experienced so much with each other this past year that she feels like a life long friend. We overcame death, hatred, family issues, moving, academic issues and so much more that telling her I won't be right beside her next year...kills me. She was a wonderful roommate and if I have any regrets about my decision to move on to a new plan, it's her. I have to tell her and my two other amazing suitemates I will not be returning within the next week, and I don't know how it is going to go :/ I know she will be upset, but I have to keep telling myself that it is not my fault. I had no control over the situation and this is just how it is. I am so deeply sorry that I have to hurt her but I have already waited to long and need to fill her in. Trust, honesty and a lot of faith will be need over the next week and I hope things work out okay. Breezie, Carly and especially Amanda...I love you girls so much and I am sorry this is the way it had to happen. I wish you only the best the next 3 years at Fordham and I know you will do amazing things!! Winner Chicken Dinner 4 Lyfeeeee.
7 Weeks and 6 days until I make my journey to Peru to volunteer for 9 months....and I couldn't be more excited! It feels really good to be living out my dream and living a life of service to others! CAN'T WAIT :]
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Ticket purchased and I'm on my way :]
I couldn't be happier right now. My life long dream is finally coming true. I am officially going to Peru for 9 months starting August 29th and returning May 7th!!!!!!!!!!
Doing this, is the weirdest feeling ever. Never in my life have I felt so great about a decision and as my friend Gabrielle said to me tonight, "Everything happens for a reason...I really do believe that." So true. If I hadn't faced such adversity with my Dad, if I hadn't left Fordham and if I hadn't finally taken a risk...none of this would be possible. Everything really did happen for a reason and it feels amazing :]
Let me explain what I will be doing for 9 months in Peru. I will be volunteering in the city of Huancayo, about 7 hours east of Lima. Monday thru Friday I will be teaching at a mountain school with an organization called Tinkuy Peru. I will be teaching children English, Math, Reading, Writing and History with an emphasis on basic English. On Saturday's I will be given the opportunity to visit waterfalls, caves, forests, ruins and beaches all around the country. Sunday is a true day of rest in Huancayo and before nightfall, markets line the streets for people to buy produce, meat and other goods. I will be staying in a volunteer home with the director of Tinkuy Peru, Tino, and his family. I honestly can't believe I will be living in Peru for the next 9 months, it is a real dream come true.
If anyone would have told me back at the start of my freshman year at Fordham, that in one year I would be volunteering in Peru...I seriously would have died of laughter. Dreams like this don't come along all the time, so I jumped on it. I have heard positive and negative input from many, but the common denominator among all contributors is that this is the time to do it. As I have pondered for many months, Why wait? Why not achieve my dreams now? What the hell am I waiting for? I am now no longer waiting.
I am honestly sick of planning. I have tried to plan my entire life out since I was very young, and look how far that got me. I planned on going to Columbia University, being a cardiothoracic surgeon, being a part of Doctors Without Borders and marrying a fellow Doctor. HA. Obviously none of this went as "planned" and I am currently doing something drastically different. So, the planning stops now. I bought my plane ticket last night, with my best friend by my side, and that's it. As of right now, I am going to volunteer...but beyond that I am not planning. I can't spend any more time worrying about the future, because plans are always changing. I am always changing. Will I be going to school when I return? Yes, that is what I hope to be doing, but planning what school, when I will apply and where I will be accepted is out of my hands. For now, I am a volunteer and I couldn't be happier with that decision.
As I prepare for my departure on August 29th, a lot of emotions will be running through my bones. Happiness of course, but I will be sad to leave my friends and family, anxious for the trip, nervous to see where I am staying, excited to teach and I will be extremely grateful for this amazing opportunity.
So, as of right now...life is good (really good) and I am taking things into my own hands, making my own decisions and taking the biggest risk of my life! CHEERS :]
But the search ends here,
Where the night is totally clear.
And your heart is fierce,
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer.
Doing this, is the weirdest feeling ever. Never in my life have I felt so great about a decision and as my friend Gabrielle said to me tonight, "Everything happens for a reason...I really do believe that." So true. If I hadn't faced such adversity with my Dad, if I hadn't left Fordham and if I hadn't finally taken a risk...none of this would be possible. Everything really did happen for a reason and it feels amazing :]
Let me explain what I will be doing for 9 months in Peru. I will be volunteering in the city of Huancayo, about 7 hours east of Lima. Monday thru Friday I will be teaching at a mountain school with an organization called Tinkuy Peru. I will be teaching children English, Math, Reading, Writing and History with an emphasis on basic English. On Saturday's I will be given the opportunity to visit waterfalls, caves, forests, ruins and beaches all around the country. Sunday is a true day of rest in Huancayo and before nightfall, markets line the streets for people to buy produce, meat and other goods. I will be staying in a volunteer home with the director of Tinkuy Peru, Tino, and his family. I honestly can't believe I will be living in Peru for the next 9 months, it is a real dream come true.
If anyone would have told me back at the start of my freshman year at Fordham, that in one year I would be volunteering in Peru...I seriously would have died of laughter. Dreams like this don't come along all the time, so I jumped on it. I have heard positive and negative input from many, but the common denominator among all contributors is that this is the time to do it. As I have pondered for many months, Why wait? Why not achieve my dreams now? What the hell am I waiting for? I am now no longer waiting.
I am honestly sick of planning. I have tried to plan my entire life out since I was very young, and look how far that got me. I planned on going to Columbia University, being a cardiothoracic surgeon, being a part of Doctors Without Borders and marrying a fellow Doctor. HA. Obviously none of this went as "planned" and I am currently doing something drastically different. So, the planning stops now. I bought my plane ticket last night, with my best friend by my side, and that's it. As of right now, I am going to volunteer...but beyond that I am not planning. I can't spend any more time worrying about the future, because plans are always changing. I am always changing. Will I be going to school when I return? Yes, that is what I hope to be doing, but planning what school, when I will apply and where I will be accepted is out of my hands. For now, I am a volunteer and I couldn't be happier with that decision.
As I prepare for my departure on August 29th, a lot of emotions will be running through my bones. Happiness of course, but I will be sad to leave my friends and family, anxious for the trip, nervous to see where I am staying, excited to teach and I will be extremely grateful for this amazing opportunity.
So, as of right now...life is good (really good) and I am taking things into my own hands, making my own decisions and taking the biggest risk of my life! CHEERS :]
But the search ends here,
Where the night is totally clear.
And your heart is fierce,
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
The Sisterhood of the Traveling [[Quilt]]
You know your life is pretty lame when you just watched 4.5 hours of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on Lifetime (and cried through half of it). The relevance of this movie in my current life, is scary. No, my friends and I don't have lovers, pregnancy scares, new fathers or pants that fit us all perfectly...but we do have a quilt.
The summer before the 5 of us all left for college, we made a quilt that we would send each other every 3 weeks. The quilt was compiled with our own piece of fabric, our name and a pocket for the letters we would send each other. Inspired by the book/movie, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, the fab 5 (as we called our group) went away for college at 5 different schools. The summer before we all left, was the best summer I have ever had. Filled with movies, canoeing, car rides, dinners, childhood games, laser tag, a secret handshake and of course laughter...I thought nothing could come between us. Our last night together was spent just like the rest of them, at Gabrielle's house, and we said goodbye the morning of August 10th, 2010. Our 5 lives mirror the movie in ways I can't describe. I wish this summer would be as good and better as the last, but things have changed...I have changed.
The 5 of us vowed to keep in contact as best as we could by implementing a "Sunday Night Skype" as we called it where we all tried to skype every Sunday night at 10 pm. It's hard to tell if this skype night actually brought us closer together or farther apart. In the first few months, we learned so much about the other 4 friends, but as time went on our time to talk became shorter and shorter and long winded stories were replaced by "I had an overall good week." Just like Tibby, Lena, Carmen and Bridget had their friendship tested after going separate ways, I hope and pray the fab 5 can pass the test. I love Sarah, Ashley, Gabrielle and Carolyn more than anything and I hope that as we change our friendship grows and deepens. I wish the quilt was just like the pants and fit all of us perfectly even when we are constantly changing, but our friendship is not represented by a stupid quilt. Our friendship spans many years (some of the greatest years of my life) and even if the quilt doesn't represent who we are as friends anymore...our hearts will always feel the same love for one another.
I don't know why the friendship with these 4 girls is different than my friendship with my best friend Elizabeth or Chelsea and Megan. With Elizabeth, everything just falls right back together like we never were apart and no matter how different Chels and Meg are from me, we remain close and have a strong, beautiful friendship. More now than ever, I need true friends standing by my side as I make a life changing decision. I am not an insecure person on any level, but leaving for the year without all of these girls right next to me, scares me. I pray with all of my heart that no matter how much we change and grow, our love is constant always remains present.
To the FAB 5: You girls are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, and I hope this summer is one to remember no matter what has happened in the last year. We may have heard all of the stories or none of them, we may have changed or stayed exactly the same, if our hair has just grown out or been dyed 5 different colors, if we gained the freshman 15 or can still fit in pants from senior year, if we had a 4.0 GPA or struggled to get B's, if we had the greatest year of our lives or the hardest.....we will always be friends and the love will always be there. love you girls forever and ever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)