Being Real.

This girl I know from Fordham just went on a mission trip to Calcutta. She blogged about her trip the entire time she was there and when she got back, I skyped with her to hear more about the trip. She told me so many interesting things that are helpful to my upcoming trip, but those things weren't described in her blog. After speaking to her and then reading her blog, she left out so much. What she blogged about was only the "happy" "good" stuff. She failed to mention how the airline lost her luggage, when she got incredibly sick, when she fell in love and the time when she went skinny dipping. I can't believe she left out the struggles, real feelings and experiences she had other than just volunteering.

From this moment on, I have decided I am going to be as real as possible. If I don't like something, you will hear about it. If I fall in love, experience hatred, have the best time of my life, eat new foods, get sick or am having a hard time...I will blog about it. I can't imagine not sharing personal details know matter how personal, because I want others to benefit from my adventure. I want others who read my blog, stalk my pictures or see my facebook to get a real account of what is going on with me in Huancayo.

In keeping with my promise this blog post will be real. Real emotions, real feelings and real thoughts :] I leave for Peru in less than a month, and I think it is finally starting to hit me. I will be volunteering in Peru for 9 months without any friends, family and minimal communication. It's going to be weird being without those essential people and things for such a long period of time. I have so many petty questions and important questions that I won't know the answers to until I arrive in Peru. Will I have enough money for my 9 month stay? Will I like the food? Will I be homesick? Will I even be a good teacher? Do I know enough Spanish to teach? Should I bring more clothes? What happens if I get seriously ill? My mind is racing with uncertainty. But with every uncertainty, I can envision myself receiving great rewards. I don't regret my decision at all and I honestly can't imagine myself doing anything different. This is my time to make a difference. This is my time to make footprints and impact the lives of Peruvian people. This is my time to change the world. This, is my time.

One of my retreat leaders from a faith and justice retreat at Fordham, was killed by a drunk driver one week ago. She was one of the nicest, faith-filled leaders I have ever met and she dreamed of being in Peace Corps just like me. To think that she was one year away from graduating, one year away from the Peace Corps and only a few weeks away to seeing her mentally challenged sister get married, kills me. To know that my life could end at any moment without changing the world, completing my goal of volunteering for impoverished children, winning some victory for humanity or being a daughter my mom can say she is proud of...makes me want to volunteer in Peru for even longer. Living a life of service is my dream, and why wait until I am forty or fifty years old to live my dreams. Why not now? I pray for Vanessa's family and friends, and I hope they know that she might not have changed the lives of others abroad, but she definitely changed mine <3

This post is dedicated to being real, living out your dreams, changing the world and to my retreat leader Vanessa. And even though my life hasn't gone as planned, I am completing my goal of changing the world and living as though today was my last day. Peace :]

"For every stoplight I didn't make,
for every chance I did or didn't take.
All the nights I went too far,
all the girls that broke my heart,
all the doors that I had to close,
all the things I knew but didn't know,
Thank God for all I missed, 
Cause it lead me straight here to this."
Peru 2011-2012 <3