I'm sitting in my bed crying. Crying about nonsense that other people would think was stupid. For the last four years I have cried myself to sleep most nights because I dream of changing the world. I dream for a better tomorrow and I worry that I have not made my mark on the world. I cry for peace, justice, change, love and acceptance. I cry for all of those people whose lives are filled with adversity, hatred and poverty. I cry for others. And as much as I don't want to cry, if I stopped crying I would feel as though I have given up. Maybe my upcoming adventure is a way to stop the tears and act on my dreams. Maybe it is an outlet for so many things I couldn't change in my life, so I hope to improve the lives of others. Tears or no tears, I want to change the world.
This is in no way pretentious or pompous, but so many people have told me that I am going to save the world, be the next Mother Theresa and win the Noble Peace Prize. I hate it more than anything when people say that. I am following my calling by God and just doing what I love. It is the same thing as wanting to be a physical therapist, doctor, lawyer, artist, nurse or teacher. You are just doing what you love. I love making a difference. I love helping others. I love to travel. I love that moment when you figure out what you are called to do. I am a lover of life. Traveling to Peru to volunteer is simply a way to change the world, share happiness with others and being able to live in the moment. I am definitely, positively not a saint...I am just trying to get it right as often as I can.
Finding your calling, is like the most special moment in the world. It's like knowing all the lyrics to your favorite song, a good book, burying your feet in the sand, watching the sunset, laughing until your stomach hurts, hanging out with your best friends, the smell of fresh cut grass, driving with the windows down, watching the New York Yankees win...everything is just right in the world. When you find what you are supposed to be doing for the rest of your life, it's like nothing else matters. It's you and a dream...and life is good :] I have always been a person that lived for moments. Inexplicable moments that define your life. Moments you can't put into words. I have had so many defining moments in my life and I can't wait for the next chapter of memories, moments and life. I have a feeling that when my shoes hit the ground in Lima, I will be overwhelmed with joy and it will be another defining moment. Can't wait!
So, I am 24 days away from the adventure of a lifetime. Extreme buying, packing and clothes freak-outs have begun. As excited as I am to leave, there is still so much to do! Here's just a little expression of my excitement....JSRIOUNSTNMCCCOULNSHSUHDJQBJBQJUGUCSSRATTCNKCOPPSNSBSGAEERWQQUXBBCCHJGHFIYERAESVCCPCOUSTSGSRATHXKXOZMZOXUTN wahhhhhhhhhhh :] :] :] :] :] :] :] :] so excited!
peace, love, good music, dreams, dinner with friends, nike shorts and happiness :]
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