The Beginning of New Beginnings

Hello All!


This is quite exciting for me, starting a blog. Over the next few months and maybe even years, a lot of change will happen in my life. This blog is going to be used as an outlet, a way for you to follow these changes and to express the emotions of new beginnings. So let's start this new journey together!


I guess if this is supposed to be a blog about new beginnings, I should start from the beginning of my freshman year of college. My experience as a freshman can be summed up in 2 words..."Incredibly Satisfying." I attended Fordham University in the heart of Manhattan, and never have I felt more alive, happy, fulfilled and inspired. Fordham is the perfect school for me and always will be, but as I have come to realize...things don't always go as planned. I had four years of my life planned out down to the leadership positions I would be granted and the speech I would make at my senior banquet. And now? Now, everything is a blank slate. Realizing I can't and never will be able to control the actions of my family members, I needed to start fresh. I need to take control of my life, not making decisions based on other's opinions, feelings or words. So, this is a new beginning to the rest of my life...and I'm scared to death.


I am essentially going in blind to whatever decision I make, which is scary as hell. I am my mother's daughter which means I inherited the lovely art of planning every detail. Reaching the end of May and not knowing what will happen in August is terrifying. I have many options on the table for this coming year, but as of right now, none of them sit well. With money constraints, the pressure to earn a degree and my dream of volunteering, my life is a jumbled mess (for lack of better words). As excited as I am to embark on a beginning where I call the shots, my anal tendency of planning is screwing with my head. The tears are all dried up after crying a river in the hallways of my dorm after my dream of graduating from Fordham was no longer a possibility. What remains is the uncertainty of my future and where I am going to go from here. Which as of right now...all I can go is UP :)