Pure Serendipity that has lead me to where I belong...

I have let the world change me. 

Almost 3 years later and I am still on what seems to be a never ending adventure of love and self discovery. It's quite incredible actually, the people, places and emotions I have experienced while only being a mere 21 years old. As most of you know, I set out on this journey hoping to help the children of Peru and return to University back in the States. What has happened over the last 3 years is somewhat inexplicable and pure serendipity that has brought me right where I am meant to be. 

I haven't updated my blog because at this point it just seems silly writing about what used to be new adventures that overtime have become my daily life. I still marvel at new born babies, goodnight kisses and sticky fingers of children, but something has changed. I used to write for 2 main reasons. The first being my mother who lived vicariously through my stories and tales, but she is now able to watch every step of my journey from above. And also because I didn't want to ever forget those little girl giggles, beach days or first days of school, so I wrote it all down. But now that my incredible journey has become one with my adventurous life, I feel no reason to write it all down. I hear those girly giggles every single night and am greeted with those sticky fingers every morning. It's life, my life and I am so blessed to be living it. 

So why now? Why do I feel inspired to start writing again? I've learned so much these past 3 years about the meaning of life, the importance of following your heart and how to manage a crying 6 year old that I think it's time to share my experiences once again. So...enjoy!

My sister, Kate, was fortunate enough to come down and visit me at the end of January. I was able to show her all of the things I have fallen in love with over the past 2 years, the children, my University and even the jungle! We had a wonderful time! But what I loved most about her visit was that I learned something very important about myself and the journey I embarked on. As Kate pointed out numerous times, as a person, I have changed dramatically. I am no longer the uptight, J. Crew wearing, germ-a-phob, studious teenager that wanted so desperately to change the world but did nothing about it. I decided that if I was going to make a real difference here in Peru, I was going to have to change. I yearned to live among the people of Peru not just with them. I didn't just crave Peruvian food and culture, I wanted to learn how to make it. I wanted to learn the language and attend University here, so I can put down roots in a country I now call my own. 

Essentially, I let the world change me. Something that so many people feverishly run from because God forbid we might actually get to know the children behind their cleft lips and empty stomachs. The children that have forever changed me are not just the happiest kids I have ever met, they run, jump and sing just like second graders in Ohio. They come from the jungle and mountains and know what it means to go to bed hungry but play jacks, freeze tag and Monopoly after completing their homework. The people of the jungle work hard in the fields but end the day with a juicy, ripe mango pulled from the tree. It's a life of simplicity that I was never introduced to but after living this life, I never want to go back. I still hold on tightly to my freshman year of high school dream of changing the world, but I have learned a little something about that dream. As Ché Guevara once said, "Let the world change you and you can change the world."

Take risks. Dream. Explore. If you don't like your job, quit. Be happy. Follow your heart. Live the life you have always dreamed about. 

The world has changed me and will continue to do so as long as I let it. I am happy, healthy and doing what I love. What more could a girl ask for :]

Falling in LOVE (all over again)

I took a break from taking care of my Mom to return home to Peru for 3 weeks. Every trip is a little different and these 3 weeks have been some of the most important on my path to self discovery, journey of faith and love for a home full of incredible children.

For me, true love is indescribable. It's this incredible feeling that changes you. It's as if life without this love would be insignificant. But the process of falling in love...that's the most poignant part of the indescribable feelings. The way love can change you as a person and the way it can form your life path is baffling. I have yet to experience the 'falling in love' for that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And to be quite honest, I don't think I want that for myself anymore. But the 'falling in love' I am experiencing is unreal. I thought I had head over heals fallen in love one year ago, but I take it back. Infatuation is a better word I felt last year for the country of Peru, the children, the Home, the language and everything in between. Over the past year I have finally fallen in love with myself. I love who I have become and the recent life choices I have made. I have committed my life to service and adventure and couldn't be happier. Finding and creating happiness, loving myself and dedicating my life to others has only aided falling in love.

No longer infatuation, I have fallen in love with countless things. A country, which an incredible woman describes, "There was a rawness and beauty in Peru that brought every emotion right to the surface, and I loved the feeling, loved being in this place where the best and worst of everything seemed to coexist." Couldn't have said it better myself. Peru is a country beaming with culture and flooded with poverty. The people don't have much in terms of material objects or monetary wealth, but what they do have in abundance is compassion, care and love for the human race. It has been said that when one Peruvian cries, the nation cries with them and when one celebrates, the whole country dances. It's a wonderful country and I have finally been able to pinpoint why. It really isn't about the money unlike the United States or many other countries...it's about kindness.

As I spooned a 2 year old boy, Jose Luis, his ice cream the night before I left, my eyes welled with tears. The nurses, who are not only my second Moms but my best friends, calmed my tears and reassured me that I would be back soon. But that wasn't it. I know I will be back soon and that I need to be home for my Mom during surgery. My tears, were tears of happiness. I explained to them, that I was sad to leave but I had finally found something I love so much and want to do for the rest of my life. I love where I am and what I am doing. I love those children more than anything in the world. I don't just feel like it's my home, but it is my family. I have discovered my passion, discovered my reason for living and most importantly...I discovered myself.

The children :]

The home is a funny place. When I walked through the door at 5:30 Thursday morning, it was the exact same house I left 2 months ago. The children came running and screaming to greet me and I immediately fell in to the same routines I had been doing for the last year. I was home. In those 3 weeks, I did some things I have never done before in Peru. One unforgettable memory was a 5 day trip to a nearby city, Chancay, where I was able to accompany 2 of my girls for surgery. I went with children to Lima for their medical appointments for the first time, ALONE. I made a home visit with one of the social workers from the burn hospital. I ventured up the mountains and saw the most amazing sunset I have ever seen in my life. I took the children to the movie theater (not once, but twice) without any scrapes or bruises...and we were home in time for dinner. I reconnected with Leah, a volunteer who I came to know last year, and remembered why we became friends in the first place. I took countless naps with Ana Lucero and Tracy and secretly slept in the girl's room for a week straight. I cried at Mass when I hugged and kissed my children for the sign of peace because it was one of the most beautiful, powerful moments of faith I have witnessed. I helped the Doctor prepare medicine for his trip back to the States and there was an understood silence that filled the room that brought a smile to my face. I stayed up all night with the nurses talking about life, the future and what will happen next.

It's like I just belong there. Even with all the chaos of 50 something children...I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have fallen in love with so many things within the past year and my love only deepens day after day. My Mom has a collage that says, "Only absence makes the heart grow fonder", and the 2 months I spent away from home only deepened my relationships with the children, the Home and Peru.

I hear the wind across the plain 
A sound so strong - that calls my name 
It's wild like the river - it's warm like the sun 
Ya it's here - this is where I belong 

Under the starry skies - where eagles have flown 
This place is paradise - it's the place I call home 
The moon on the mountains 
The whisper through the trees 
The waves on the water 
Let nothing come between this and me 

Cuz everything I want - is everything that's here 
And when when we're all together - there's nothing to fear 
And wherever I wander - the one thing I've learned 
It's to here - I will always....always return

Raspberry Pie and a whole lot of smiles :]

An update on my Mom:

She's a miracle. She's incredible. She's a fighter. She's my Mom.

They told us...she had 6 months.

They told us...treatment might not work.

They told us...surgery was a long shot.

I guess "they" never met Julie Columbia. Treatment worked! The oncologist said treatment would be hell and I can honestly say that's what it was. Jules couldn't eat or drink for almost 2 weeks straight. Watching the person you love become unrecognizable, is heartbreaking. As a caregiver, you feel helpless. As a person, you feel guilty. But as her daughter, I felt strong. If she can fight all of this, I can at least love and be present. 

The tumor shrunk about 50%. The oncologist was shocked. This was the best response she has ever seen with her rare form of cancer. Surgery? The surgery date is now set. The surgeon believes, with 85% certainty, she can remove ALL of the tumor. 

TAKE THAT CANCER. 

Jules is regaining strength day by day. I think my time in Peru taught me not to take anything for granted...and I mean anything. Eating breakfast, going to the bank, heading to the grocery store, going out to lunch, picking up prescriptions, going to appointments, watching the nightly news and eating a sandwich on the porch are such normal things. But for me, I did these "normal" things by myself for 2 whole months because my Mom was too sick. I missed telling her all of the crazy things that happen in a fruit and vegetable market. I missed trying new restaurants with her. Regaining these little things, reminds me never take anything for granted...no matter how small. 

After we heard the news on Thursday that surgery is a go, I immediately called someone who has been there since Day 1. She most likely will never see this post and won't even be able to understand it. But Miss Miriam, you are incredible. One of the Hogar's nurses, she was there with me the night I found out. Even though we are thousands of miles apart, your texts and phone calls are a reminder of God's love for his followers. I called her on Thursday, crying. And she knew. She knew my shaky voice was filled with relief, happiness, love and utter joy. She said, "Her treatment worked, didn't it? I knew God would take care of you. See you soon!" 

There couldn't be good news without...dessert! A piece of Jules' favorite raspberry pie was eaten Thursday afternoon in bed while watching Law and Order: SVU. What a good day, October 11th. 

I RETURN HOME ON WEDNESDAY TO PERU! And obviously I am incredibly excited! Can't wait to see all my children, the nurses, the Doctor, my friends and the country I fell in love with. 

"It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is.  You know that a place that feels like being found exists.  And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it."

Love you Mom.

Ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAUGHTER EVELYN! 15 years old! Love you forever and ever and you will always be my first daughter and God-daughter! TKM. Besitosss.

Pss. Sorry for the high phone bills, Dad! 

A hole in my heart.

I love her. I will always, always love her. But my heart aches being away from Peru.

My mom is doing okay, right now. She has started her third week of treatment and the side effects of radiation treatment and chemotherapy are slowly catching up to her. We have a pretty good system going, I take her to and from treatment everyday while closely monitoring her medication, liquids and diet. The first week of October she will have repeat PET and CT scans to determine how much the tumor has shrunk and if she will be a surgical candidate. The chemotherapy makes her nauseous and tired but the problem now is the radiation. The radiation is slowly burning her esophagus (because of the close proximity of the tumor) and what once hurt swallowing, now seems unbearable. As the oncologist stated, "your throat will start to hurt and then after week 3, you will no longer be able to eat or drink." How fun...

Most thought it would be physically and mentally draining helping and watching my Mom during this difficult time. Quite the contrary, it feels so natural to me. Taking her to and from treatments is not only a time for us to bond, whether in silence or quiet conversation, but it is nice perspective for the both of us. Seeing how others respond to treatment, hearing stories, sharing tips and being there for someone in their darkest moments is what we experience. I enjoy monitoring her medication, fluids and diet which is proving to be more challenging as time goes on. My Mom and I have been described as each other's yin and yang. Without much conversation or explanation, I know what she needs or wants. But, my Mom is not the hardest part of returning...

I knew a long time ago that Peru is a place I would consider spending the rest of my life. After coming home unexpectedly, I am not considering it anymore. Once I return, I WILL spend the rest of my life there, without a doubt. There is no better way to describe what I am feeling than homesickness. I am incredibly homesick. I knew leaving Peru and more than just the country, leaving all of my children, would be difficult. But, I never thought that leaving what I now call my "home" would physically and mentally be unbearable. I understand why I am back in the States and that I need to help my Mom, but being away feels like I have a giant hole in my heart. I can't rightfully explain to anyone that asks why I am having such a hard time readjusting, the US just doesn't feel like home anymore.

I had a little taste of these feelings back in December when I returned home for the first time. I hated being back in Ohio and was torn about how I could physically and mentally fulfill both lives I wanted to live, in America and Peru. I now know that I can't live with my body in one country and my soul in another. I know God wants me to be here for my Mom during this difficult journey, but I never thought it would be so difficult being somewhere my heart isn't. The love for my Mom is infinite (even bigger than the country of Peru or all my children) and that is essentially what I have to tell myself every time my heart aches for home.

Once my Mom's battle with cancer ends (good or bad outcome), I will return home. Home to Peru, where I left my heart. I choose to follow God's calling, His plan for me and my heart even if it means leaving behind things I once loved.

So for right now, I'm okay. As hard as it is being away from home, I know I'm in the right place. I know I made the right decision. When my Mom doesn't remember appointment times, forgets medication doses, doesn't want to drink enough water, needs company, is in so much pain she is in tears, wants to eat a Johnny Rocket's hamburger with vanilla milkshake, needs someone to laugh at Doctors with and not only be her daughter but a best friend...I'm here.

Thank you to everyone that has helped my Mom and my family in any way throughout this journey. Please continue to pray and always eat dessert first :)

-teaner

Ps. I am returning to Peru for 2 weeks in mid-October!!!! And obviously, couldn't be more excited. Extraño todos mis hijos, amigos, Doctor y las. Vuelvo pronto :) Siempre estoy pensando en Uds. TE QUIERO MUCHOOOOOOOO.

One Year...

One year. August 2011-August 2012.

People say that one year can change everything. People change. Things change. Lives change. And mine sure has...

One year ago, I got on a plane to Peru not knowing anything. Looking back now, what a crazy thing I did. I boarded that plane not knowing a thing about Peru let alone South America, I didn't know the language, I was unsure of where I would be staying...I was alone. But I did it anyway. Within this past year...I fell in love. I fell in love with a country full of culture. The sights, the sounds and the food (yes, even the food) I have become accustomed to. The language is natural and the people, well they're my family. 

But most of all, I have fallen in love with a home full of children that amaze me day after day. Day to day life that makes me giddy inside, smile ear to ear and wear my heart on my sleeve. It truly is love. At the beginning of my journey, I never thought I would want to spend the rest of my life in the country I first despised. But now, I have found my calling. It's not something I want, need or have to do. My journey, which I have now made a life commitment to, is a calling from God. 

And within one year...everything came crashing down. I'm at a loss of words even writing about her.

My Mom. A woman who has faced every obstacle and challenge in her life with a fight, has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. My heart stopped when she told me over the phone from the hospital all the way to Peru. My knees buckled and I stayed up all night with the nurses crying about the news she reluctantly told me. The incredible year I was having, was now over. Life as I knew it...over. As I gathered my thoughts and feelings, I could only think about one thing. This makes sense. 

My Mom, Julie, has been preparing me for a moment like this...my whole life. She taught me when I was little to enjoy the time we are given. Eat dessert first. Go to concerts. Take a mental health day. Eat good food. Travel. Spend time with your kids. Sing. Buy expensive things. Lay on the beach. Don't let others dictate your life. Be passionate. Follow your heart. Pay it forward. Learn to cook. 

The list goes on and on...

And this is what my Mom and I have done for the last 20 years of my life. Being diagnosed with cancer is not a death sentence for my mom or my family. She could very well lose her battle with the disease or she could kick it in the ass...we have no way of knowing yet. But either way, My Mom and I have lived an incredible life. I am so thankful for being granted 20 seemingly endless years with her. What an honor. And for right now, I can do nothing else except be there for her. I can make her laugh and smile, we can cry together and we can be as strong as we possibly can. That's it. There's no point in guessing, we just need to live day by day enjoying each other's company. 

My mom wrote me a letter before my adventure in August of 2011. She wrote, 

"Christine, don't fret about what will happen next year. Everything will fall into place. Just live and be present every single day you are in Peru. Life is all about taking risks even if it means creating your own path. You know I love you." -Mom

Some people are questioning my reaction and emotions during the initial process of her treatment. I have always been a realist. My initial reaction? Tears, and lots of them. I cried to the nurses (the nurses are like my second moms in Peru) all night. After my initial reaction? What can I do for my mom. How can I help her. If she were to refuse treatment, I can only respect her decision. Just like my Mom...I am not afraid of dying. If she were to die, of course I would be upset. But more than upset, I would be thankful for her existence. I can't continue to cry about the unknowns. We need to take each day one by one and accept the challenges and triumphs as they come. As my Mom has told me, having an outlet of talking to others is essential. Which is what I have been doing. I communicate with the nurses, Doctor and my children from Peru daily. She also told me that this experience will also rely a lot on your inner self. I shouldn't be afraid. I shouldn't be worried. I am only grateful for years past and hopeful for her fight against this cancer. 

As for me, well leaving Peru is a scenario I never imagined. I have committed endless years at the Home with my children and couldn't be more excited. After returning home unexpectedly, I am experiencing extreme culture shock and most of my communication is still in Spanish with those back in Peru. Of course, I was devastated leaving Peru. But, this is something I need to do. My Mom has incredible friends that will be such an essential part of her fight, but nothing comes close to fighting this than with family. Whether we win or lose her battle with cancer, I will make my way back home...to Peru.

What an incredible year. Within one year, I have accomplished things I would have never thought possible. And now, I am home with my Mom to accompany her on a journey we have never ventured. We can only hope for the best and pray to overcome struggle. And always, eat dessert first. That's what life is all about :]

With much love, 

Teaner

THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER :] 20!

On Tuesday, I had a HUGE birthday celebration that...YES! is worth blogging about.

I think everyone knows by now, how much I love the children at the Home. But today, my kids showed a part of themselves that I have never seen. My morning started off early at 5:30 am when I woke up dancing to Britney Spears as my roommate Maddie, groaned about what time it was. She soon got in the birthday spirit and was singing along to Nsync and The Backstreet Boys. As I headed down the stairs to greet the children, they started singing to me and Miss Adela (a nurse that I share the same birthday with). Miss Adela had 2 shots of Pisco (similar to Vodka) ready to drink for the beginning of our birthday celebration. 50 hugs and kisses were exchanged and not one child forgot to tell me happy birthday before 9 am.

The Mamitas (the cooks) at the Hogar, make exceptional homemade bread for breakfast. If we are given a donation of Paneton (sweet candy bread) we always use that first and then eat "Mamita bread". We had a donation of, not even kidding, 500 boxes of Paneton. YUCK! I begged Mamita Monday night if we could have her bread for breakfast on Tuesday because it was my birthday. She said no and that the doctor would get mad. I begged and begged and she just wouldn't budge. But...Tuesday Morning when I headed downstairs, fresh Mamita bread was waiting for me! Everyone knows I am a little bit of a food snob and having my favorite bread on my birthday was such a treat! Love you Mamitas :]

After breakfast and getting the kids off to school, I was called to the patio by our teacher, Jenny and all of the older kids. All of the kids sang Happy Birthday to me in English and then the traditional Spanish song. Evelyn, my goddaughter, presented me with gifts and a note the children wrote me. Evelyn got me a frame with a picture of the two of us and the other kids bought me a purse (which happens to be the same exact purse I bought and LOVED days before I was robbed in the jungle). The note said,

"To Cristina, our best friend and Mother. Happy Birthday! Thank you so much for all that you do for us and the joy you have brought to our lives. God had blessed you forever and we will never forget you. We love you, Mom!"

I lost it. In front of my best friends, children and peers...I started bawling. It was only 10 am and I knew this was going to be the best birthday ever, maybe even the best day of my life ;] 

The other volunteers had a few surprises up their sleeves as well. A few volunteers asked the Doctor if we could make Pisco Sours (the national drink of Peru...Pisco, sugar, lime juice, chili powder and egg whites) and if he would drink with us to celebrate my birthday. The Doctor never turns down a chance to drink alcohol, so the other volunteers made the Pisco Sours and during lunch the Doctor came down from his office, sat next to me and drank. I told him I knew about the puppy he was hiding in his room to give me as a birthday gift and he died of laughter. We took pictures and I told him to straighten out his back, smile with his teeth and try not to look like an old man. He grinned ;]

THE WORST, BEST PART OF A PERUVIAN BIRTHDAY....

It's a Peruvian tradition to crack eggs and throw flour on the birthday boy or girl. Well that sure happened! I had over 20 eggs cracked on my head and was covered in flour by 2 pm. The older and younger children surprised me with eggs, chased me with eggs and even the Staff members cracked eggs on my head. So much fun! Yet sooooo disgusting...

The older boys made me traditional woven bracelets, the girls made me signs and everything just seemed perfect. Until I opened my birthday letters from a book that my best friend, Lizzy, made me before I left on this incredible journey. The letters were incredible. I cried in my room reading each and every one from friends, family and teachers. It was the perfect reminder of why I am celebrating my 20th birthday with 62 new sons and daughters. I can't thank you enough, Lizzy, for that book. It brings tears to my eyes every time I open a page and read encouraging words from loved ones :] 

Just as I thought the day was coming to a close, dinner was served. As I finished eating my dinner, the Doctor got up from the table and left for a few minutes. I went to help Miguel find his walker and when I came back...the lights were off and everyone was signing happy birthday to me. My favorite blueberry cheesecake from the coffee shop we go to everyday was topped with 20 lit candles. The Doctor set the cake in front of me and said, "Make a Wish!" I started crying and blew out the candles. This Man, Saint, Doctor, Friend and Servant of God has changed my life in so many ways. The volunteers told me that it was all his idea...he bought the cake, got everyone together to sing and even had a bite of cake!!! (in 8 months I haven't seen him eat one sweet treat!) What an incredible moment. 

April 17th, 2012. The Best Birthday Ever. Not only did I get to celebrate my birthday with my 60 incredible children, The Saintly Doctor, great volunteers, a thoughtful staff, beautiful weather, a Peruvian breeze and cracked eggs....BUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY TOO :] The letters in my book reminded me why I am here, Lizzy and Ellen destroyed my facebook wall with a million birthday posts, I received birthday phone calls from family and heard from so many people wishing me a happy birthday  and a wonderful time in Peru. 

A great friend and volunteer, Katherine, asked me, "Did you ever imagine last year on your 19th birthday, you would be spending your 20th birthday in Peru?" The Answer, No! Last year on my 19th birthday, I had just had a falling out with my Dad. I was upset and missing my Mom who I had spent every previous birthday with. I was living in New York City and went to a famous fish market and made myself crab cakes with spring vegetables. I brought my lunch to Central Park and cried under the Cherry Blossoms. And this year...I cried because I don't think life could get any better. I have fallen in love with so many people and have so much to be thankful for. Life is so infinitely beautiful! :]

Thank you to everyone for an incredible birthday ;]

With Love and Smelly Egg Clothes, 

-Teaner 

"Will you sleep with us again tonight?!"

Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place...

Before I tell you about one of the coolest days since being in Peru, let me tell you what I look like right now. My entire hair is in corn rows (yes, I look like a gangster), I have vomit on my shirt, my feet are black, my eyes can barely stay open, I had the greatest day ever (every day is better than the last), 60 children gave me 200 hugs, I was peed on, took a 4 year old to Mass for the first time, danced in the rain, was called "Mami Cristina" 4,000 times, RECEIVED AND GAVE SO MUCH LOVE :] life is amazing.

Thursday night and Friday. 

Since I arrived at the Hogar, I've had this odd obsession wondering what it would be like being a patient here. The children have explained to me how different it is being a volunteer than being a patient. I knew it would take time to form relationships with the children before I could be a "patient for a day" and after 7 months...I finally did it. 

My night started on Thursday when I decided I was going to sleep in the same room (15X15) with 24 girls. Crazy? Just a little. It took 30 minutes to figure out who I could sleep with because of skin disorders, contagious diseases, lice and who wets the bed. We finally decided I could sleep with Evelyn, my goddaughter on the bottom bunk. I brought down my blanket, pillow, stuffed animal and retainer. The girls thought my small, wire retainer was the most fascinating contraption ever even though they have huge metal hardware in their legs to grow their bones? Hahahaha :] Bed time is at 9 pm sharp. The Doctor makes his way up the stairs screaming at the little boys, checking to make sure everyone is in their beds, medication has been taken, school uniforms are ready for Friday morning and to give hugs to those that are waiting to say good night. He peeped his head in the girls room to say goodnight when I yelled out in Spanish, "Good night Doctor Tony. See you tomorrow!" Laughter erupted ;]

I don't think I can even explain what happened next without shedding a few tears. After the Doctor went upstairs, God was fully present in that tiny, hot room. The remaining 15-20 girls who were still awake said prayers together. Paulina opened with the sign of the cross and all followed with an Our Father and Hail of Mary. Each girl, in no specific order, prays out loud to God. I heard things within that 20 minutes that have literally changed my soul. The girls prayed for their Mom's and Dad's, brother's and sister's, friends and enemies. They asked for help with school work and relationships. They prayed that their families would have enough food to eat, siblings wouldn't go hungry, no earthquakes or floods and that God would keep violence out of their lives. Finally the girls prayed for their health. The reason for being at the Hogar in the first place...comes after their families, safety and protection. Violeta lead the final prayer thanking God for the Doctor, the Home and the gift of life. I cried myself to sleep knowing these incredible girls, my daughters, my best friends and my inspirations do this every single night. 

I didn't really sleep, it was so hot in that room! With 24 girls, I think everything happened. Aracely slept talked, Lidia snored like an old man, Flor was coughing up a lung, Julia went to the bathroom at least 4 times and shook the bed...Oh it was fun! To make sure everyone has enough time to shower, change clothes, get ready for school and hospital appointments, clean the room and help the youngest children... WE WOKE UP AT 3:45 AM. YES 3:45 AM. This happens every single day at 3:45 AM. ONE MORE TIME....3:45 AM. 

It was mayhem until 6:15 am when the children head downstairs. It's hard to even imagine what the morning is like...kids screaming, crying, yelling, laughing, moaning, shower constantly running, clothes being thrown, hair braiding, melt-downs, missing socks, doorbell ringing, cleaning. This routine has been happening for the last 17 years. It was insane! I give the girls, the nurses and the Doctor so much credit. I thought it was hard living with my sister, but living with 23 other girls...oh my gosh! The girls are so great with each other though. They all may have petty fights during the day but as Evelyn said to me, "At the end of the day, we're family. We don't just eat, sleep and live together. We experience each other's sadness, happiness, tears, health problems and break-ups together. That's why we pray together at night. We're sisters and we are lucky to have a Mom like you." I'm a Mom. Wow. 

After morning mayhem, I sat down and ate breakfast with the children. The doctor came around and served bread which he treated me like any other patient, asking me how many pieces I wanted. I quickly realized why there is so much whispering at the tables. I hate cheese (the kids eat a small piece of white cheese every morning) so I traded cheese for someone's milk. Once you have finished, you say thank you to the Mamitas and the Doctor and ask what chore you can do...sweeping the dining room, living room, second floor, patio, sidewalk or cleaning off the tables. 

Lunch and Dinner have the same routine except I realized it was Friday. Fish Friday. YUCK! I hate the fried fish here and as a volunteer, I can choose not to eat it. But as a patient, you have to eat what you are given. I traded my fish and potatoes for salad and more rice. I give the kids so much credit because for the most part, no one ever complains about meal time. 

A small van picks the kids up for school, so in the afternoon I went to drop off the older kids at school and then rode with the driver to pick up the younger kids. I went in to secondary school (the equivalent of high school) Felipe Santiago Estenos. My kids are so well behaved compared to other children as they  walked right in to class and pulled out their notebooks. The younger children came running and screaming towards the van when they saw I was inside! Hugs and kisses were exchanged and we headed back home. 

My day as a patient was incredible. I am so glad that I got to experience a little bit of what they feel every day. The kids were amazed that I kept up with the routine and followed all the rules just like any other child. An 8 year old, Aracely, asked me at the end of the day how my day was. I said it was good and told her all about it. She then thanked me. She said, "Thank you for doing that. A lot of volunteers come for just a week and don't really understand what it's like living here. You don't actually know what someone's life is like unless you actually try living it. Will you sleep with us again tonight?"

Every girl has asked me at least 20 times when the next time I will sleep with them is....precious!

So, to end this post...I will say this. What I am experiencing here isn't just happiness. It's not just a home where children receive medical treatment. There aren't just 60 children that I've come to know. These 60 children are my children. Their tears are my tears and my laughter is their laughter. It's not a house, but a home full of faith. It's not vomit, pee or poop but a chance to show compassion. I'm not just a volunteer, I'm a Mom. It's love. It's life. They are the love of my life :] And I wouldn't have it any other way...

-Teaner :]